Sunday, July 30, 2006

Eyes Like A Hawk...


So... if you are a customer of Cathay's Cineplexes, you must:
- Understand that there are 1,499 words in the Terms and Condition.
- Understand that you will have 3 minutes 30 seconds (thereabouts) by the time you get to this page.
- This means you have to be a speed reader at approximately 428 wpm (words per minute). The typical reader reads at 150-200 wpm.
- Able to comprehend fully complex sentences that are drawn up by lawyers or solicitors.
- Accomplish the reading objective in a matter of 4 minutes or so (it was 3:16 by the time I fiddled around getting the shot above), and still be able to fill out the form for purchasing the movie tickets online.

Or you could just go on and check that box, and when your tickets go missing or the transaction goes awry, you will only have yourself to blame for not reading the Terms and Conditions.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Privileges vs. Entitlements

Article #1:
Taken from TODAY paper, dated 12th July 2006



Question #1: Why can't the same condition be applied to train travel?
Answer: Simple. Buses belong to SBS Transit. The MRT belongs to SMRT. The NEL belongs to SBS Transit. Two different companies, two different policies. They are not obliged to follow each other's company practices.

Did you understand that? OK, here's a more "youngster" answer just for you: If Apple is offering a $50 rebate for all iPod accessories purchased, must Creative follow suit and offer $50 for all their Zen accesories?

Question #2: After all, the trains are operating throughout the day, so the running costs are the same anyway.
Answer: So... going by your logic, SMRT should offer free rides to EVERY SINGLE PASSENGER, correct? Since the trains are operating throughout the day mah!!!

By the way, Aloysius Ang. You already answered your own doubts in your first sentence. The answer is "privileges".

Article #2:
Taken from TODAY paper, dated 20th July 2006 (NOT 17th July 2006 as Article #3 denotes)




There, the answer you are looking for. Privilege. NOT "entitlement".

Article #3:
Taken from TODAY paper, dated 24th July 2006


Question #1: Why don't they give a monthly limit instead of a daily one?
Answer: Does your mother give you $10 pocket money each day or $100 per week? Or does she give you $10,000 per year?

Also, the reason of "certain days when I need more than four rides to run errands..." is completely unfounded. Remember, the concession privilege is there only because you are studying. It is not for errand-running, or your club activities where you are not studying but are enjoying yourself travelling around town having fun.

Stop whining and get back to your heavily-scripted lives as a Singaporean.

What the F*** is WRONG with Yahoo! Mail?


Yahoo! Mail suffered an outage over the weekend. Mysteriously, it was not reported on the WWW (except maybe on this blog).

Not surprising, and possibly another "cover-it-all-up-so-you-can't-do-anything-about-us" issue.

Remember, there is always the ONE RULE TO RULE THEM ALL (http://sg.docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/):

18. EXCLUSION OF LIABILITY
YOU EXPRESSLY UNDERSTAND AND AGREE THAT WE AND OUR LICENSORS, SUPPLIERS, VENDORS, PARENT, HOLDING, SUBSIDIARY AND RELATED COMPANIES, AFFILIATES, OFFICERS, AGENTS AND EMPLOYEES SHALL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL OR EXEMPLARY DAMAGES, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO, DAMAGES FOR LOSS OF PROFITS, GOODWILL, USE, DATA OR OTHER INTANGIBLE LOSSES...


Suck your thumbs, Yahoo! Mail users.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

On The Bus... #21 or The Haughty Bitch on PMS

An elderly woman boarded the bus, her face heavy with makeup and lipstick. She walked in a haughty manner (as if she owned the bus), and took a seat.

She did not pay for her bus fare.

The bus driver was an Indian man, and he got up from his drivers' seat, approaching the elderly woman and requesting her to pay her bus fare.

The woman began screaming and wailing and shouting in Malay at the Indian bus driver, and got up to walk to the front of the bus to pay her fare.

She stood beside the bus entrance, and pretended to pay her fare using the EZ-Link machine.

The bus driver witnessed her pretence.

She then again walked haughtily back to her seat, and plonked down in her seat, her head held up high as though she were the Queen of England.

The bus driver was helpless towards the haughty bitch's unruly behaviour, and he drove on.

Space Invaders...


The above article can be found in TODAY on the 17th July (Monday) 2006, under the "Voices" column.

A very well-writted article, with the highlights (IMHO) being boxed up in blue as you can see in the picture.

PS: On a side note, has anybody played Space Invaders before?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

On The Bus... #20 or Idiotic Passengers Abound!

A crowded bus-ride in the evening during peak-hours could be made alot better if the following people did not exist:

1.) The bitch who scrambles for the bus exit when the bus is only 10 metres away from the next stop, presses the bus bell. The bus comes to a screeching halt, making other passengers fall down all over the bus.

The door opens, and the bitch looks around in a pretentious manner.

She gets off only at the next stop.

2.) A bunch of idiots who gets on the bus from the bus terminal, hogs all the seats on the bus. You and a bunch of other passengers who got on a couple of stops later are left standing in the crowded bus.

The bunch of idiots get off the bus a few stops later, shoving you and the other standing passengers aside in a great rush (see below).

3.) Somebody presses the bell, and the bus pulls into the stop. You look around to make way for alighting passengers, but there are none making their way to the exit.

The bus exit opens. Only then do you hear the rustlings of bags and belongings, accompanied with murmurs of "Excuse me".

The idiot who is alighting, comes from the last row, squeezing past passengers in a great rush.

The whole bus is waiting (see below).

4.) The idiot who gets off the bus at the last minute, reaches the exit but does not alight.

He/she pauses to dig into his/her bag to dig out the bloody-god-damned-where-the-hell-is-it-I-can't-find-it-because-I'm-an-idiotic-passenger-who-likes-to-make-the-whole-bus-wait-for-me-and-I-was-lazy-to-take-it-out-before-I-got-up-to-make-my-way-to-the-door EZ-Link card.

5.) A middle-aged woman reaches over your shoulder to tap her adult EZ-Link card (one beep, so it's an adult card). She gets off the bus only three stops away.

She's a fare cheat.