This tip is mainly for girls.
We all know that when you are threatened by would-be perverts or flashers, one way would be to knee them in the groin.
Here's one more to add to the list of arsenal of tricks:
How?
Grab him by his Adam's apple.
Explanation
Girls have small hands, so this is just the right trick (assuming your hands are free).
Using your master hand (the stronger one), grab the guy's throat, but not the WHOLE throat (you'll most probably be unable to anyway).
Dig your nails into both sides of the lump in the middle of the throat, as if you are trying to pick up a ball that's fallen into a hole.
Now, squeeze HARD and attempt to dig out the Adam's apple.
Effect
Your adversary will choke, giving you time to execute the groin-knee-smash.
Note: If you really have a strong grip, you will seriously incapacitate the opponent and possibly bruise his throat for weeks.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Friday, December 23, 2005
Advertisements And What They Mean Actually... (Part 1)
#1: On a certain English television channel
A white man is walking along an Asian street market when he sees an Asian girl who wishes to buy doves (pigeons?). The girl only has a few coins and is only able to buy 1 dove, but she needs a lot of the doves for good luck for her brother.
The white man sees this, and whips out his credit card to purchase all the doves in the Indian street market for the little girl.
What It Actually Means:
1. The white man walking admist the Asian street market, the only one wearing white in the advertisement, among the hawkers in the market, suggests that he is of a higher status than the rest of them.
It is also by no coincidence that all the hawkers are Indians, who are dark-skinned, suggesting a hint of indication of slavery of black men under the power of the white man.
2. The white man takes out his credit card, and all the hawkers in the market turn their heads.
If I wanted a prestigious credit card, I would want people of the highest calibre in society to turn heads. It is obvious that Asian street hawkers are stereotyped to fit none of that description.
#2: On a certain English television channel
A commercial for a worldwide courier service shows people, tailors, artists, peasants, holding part of a piece of a fabric and saying "For you, Amy".
The pieces of fabric come together and become a blouse, which is picked up by a man who calls to her friend (wife), who just so happens to be called Amy.
Amy then picks up the blouse and is so delighted, unaware that it is the courier service that has delivered the blouse to her from the hands of all the people in charge of producing the blouse.
What It Actually Means:
Again, another capitalist pig production.
1. Why must the by-production of the blouse involve only Asians, and the final customer depicted, be a white man?
Again, it seems to suggest subtly that the white man is not involved in manual labour work (harvesting of the cotton, sewing of the fabric, dyeing of the fabric etc). Only the Asians are involved in the hard labour, and the white man is only there to enjoy the fruits of the labour (of his slaves), if I may say so humbly.
A white man is walking along an Asian street market when he sees an Asian girl who wishes to buy doves (pigeons?). The girl only has a few coins and is only able to buy 1 dove, but she needs a lot of the doves for good luck for her brother.
The white man sees this, and whips out his credit card to purchase all the doves in the Indian street market for the little girl.
What It Actually Means:
1. The white man walking admist the Asian street market, the only one wearing white in the advertisement, among the hawkers in the market, suggests that he is of a higher status than the rest of them.
It is also by no coincidence that all the hawkers are Indians, who are dark-skinned, suggesting a hint of indication of slavery of black men under the power of the white man.
2. The white man takes out his credit card, and all the hawkers in the market turn their heads.
If I wanted a prestigious credit card, I would want people of the highest calibre in society to turn heads. It is obvious that Asian street hawkers are stereotyped to fit none of that description.
#2: On a certain English television channel
A commercial for a worldwide courier service shows people, tailors, artists, peasants, holding part of a piece of a fabric and saying "For you, Amy".
The pieces of fabric come together and become a blouse, which is picked up by a man who calls to her friend (wife), who just so happens to be called Amy.
Amy then picks up the blouse and is so delighted, unaware that it is the courier service that has delivered the blouse to her from the hands of all the people in charge of producing the blouse.
What It Actually Means:
Again, another capitalist pig production.
1. Why must the by-production of the blouse involve only Asians, and the final customer depicted, be a white man?
Again, it seems to suggest subtly that the white man is not involved in manual labour work (harvesting of the cotton, sewing of the fabric, dyeing of the fabric etc). Only the Asians are involved in the hard labour, and the white man is only there to enjoy the fruits of the labour (of his slaves), if I may say so humbly.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
What Girls Like (And Dislike)... #1
1. Girls do not like walking on the metal grilles that cover the sewerage system below the sidewalks. Neither do they like walking on the drainage covers, be it metallic covers, or slabs of concrete.
2. Girls do not like walking on sandy areas when there's a concrete sidewalk right next to it.
3. Girls do not like walking across big grassy fields (esp. at night) for the below reasons:
- There may be sand/mud in the field.
- There may be surprises! in the field, e.g, cockroaches or rats or slimey stuff.
- It gets their toes/feet dirty.
2. Girls do not like walking on sandy areas when there's a concrete sidewalk right next to it.
3. Girls do not like walking across big grassy fields (esp. at night) for the below reasons:
- There may be sand/mud in the field.
- There may be surprises! in the field, e.g, cockroaches or rats or slimey stuff.
- It gets their toes/feet dirty.
Weird Things People Do... #1 (And How To Counter Them)
Description:
Cutting their nails on the bus or MRT.
What You Need:
- 01 x Chair (if you are unable to find a seat on the bus/train)
- 01 x Pair of Scissors
- 01 x Big Piece of Cloth
- 01 x Friend
How To Do It:
Take a seat, and drape the cloth over your shoulders. Now get your friend to hold the scissors and begin trimming your hair.
How To React If You're Caught:
1. "They doing personal grooming what!? Why I cannot leh?"
2. "Eh they can cut nails in public place, why I cannot cut my hair oso?"
3. "You wan to catch me for littering, you must catch the fella cutting nails oso loh!!"
Cutting their nails on the bus or MRT.
What You Need:
- 01 x Chair (if you are unable to find a seat on the bus/train)
- 01 x Pair of Scissors
- 01 x Big Piece of Cloth
- 01 x Friend
How To Do It:
Take a seat, and drape the cloth over your shoulders. Now get your friend to hold the scissors and begin trimming your hair.
How To React If You're Caught:
1. "They doing personal grooming what!? Why I cannot leh?"
2. "Eh they can cut nails in public place, why I cannot cut my hair oso?"
3. "You wan to catch me for littering, you must catch the fella cutting nails oso loh!!"
The Significance of Signs Or Cockroach Bait...
At a neighbourhood supermarket (with chain stores islandwide), you can see a prominent sign displayed above the shelves where the eggs are:
DEAR CUSTOMERS,
NO SWOPPING OF EGGS PLEASE.
THANK YOU
It probably just indicates the type of people that frequents the supermarket.
--------------------------------------------------
On a lighter note, (at the same supermarket) picking up some groceries and queueing up in line for payment, there was this couple behind me who started piling up their groceries onto the conveyor belt at the cashiers. It consisted of the below items:
10 x COMBAT Cockroach Bait (Good enough for 3 months, or so says the box when I chanced upon the box on the shelves on my next visit later that day)
I wonder why they needed that much cockroach bait...
DEAR CUSTOMERS,
NO SWOPPING OF EGGS PLEASE.
THANK YOU
It probably just indicates the type of people that frequents the supermarket.
--------------------------------------------------
On a lighter note, (at the same supermarket) picking up some groceries and queueing up in line for payment, there was this couple behind me who started piling up their groceries onto the conveyor belt at the cashiers. It consisted of the below items:
10 x COMBAT Cockroach Bait (Good enough for 3 months, or so says the box when I chanced upon the box on the shelves on my next visit later that day)
I wonder why they needed that much cockroach bait...
Friday, December 16, 2005
On The Bus... #13 or What Is Wrong With These @$%^$# People?
A Malay couple boarded the bus. The man was carrying a bag. The woman (probably his wife) didn't bother about him, and tapped her card and found a seat.
The man, he tapped his card, but the irritating beep persisted with the flashing red light. He did not have sufficient credit in his EZ-Link card.
Apparently, he also did not have enough money on him. He tried to talk his way out to bargain with the bus driver for a free ride.
The bus driver did not comply, and told him to get off the bus if he did not wish to pay for his bus fare. The man refused to disembark, and stood his ground, halting the bus at the stop. His wife looked on and only began to move towards him when her husband had to eventually get off the bus due to angry/annoyed looks from the passengers, and the insistence from the bus driver.
No, she did not move towards him to give him a few coins for the ride, if that's what you are thinking.
"Give me the bag! The bag!" she snapped at the man. The man gave her the bag, and got off the bus.
As the bus roared off, the man was gesturing wildly, cussing and swearing at the bus driver.
The woman began ranting to the other passengers at the next stop.
What is wrong with these people!!??
Moral of the story: You don't have a fu**ing right, if you didn't even pay a cent for it in the first place.
The man, he tapped his card, but the irritating beep persisted with the flashing red light. He did not have sufficient credit in his EZ-Link card.
Apparently, he also did not have enough money on him. He tried to talk his way out to bargain with the bus driver for a free ride.
The bus driver did not comply, and told him to get off the bus if he did not wish to pay for his bus fare. The man refused to disembark, and stood his ground, halting the bus at the stop. His wife looked on and only began to move towards him when her husband had to eventually get off the bus due to angry/annoyed looks from the passengers, and the insistence from the bus driver.
No, she did not move towards him to give him a few coins for the ride, if that's what you are thinking.
"Give me the bag! The bag!" she snapped at the man. The man gave her the bag, and got off the bus.
As the bus roared off, the man was gesturing wildly, cussing and swearing at the bus driver.
The woman began ranting to the other passengers at the next stop.
What is wrong with these people!!??
Moral of the story: You don't have a fu**ing right, if you didn't even pay a cent for it in the first place.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
How To Muck Up YOUR Car Without Even YOU Knowing It!
Disclaimer: This is in NO WAY related to the previous entry "Things That Piss Me Off At Night...".
1. Buy a can of spray paint, and just spray both of the side-view mirrors sticking out from the car.
2. Get a small blob of plasticine, and push it inside the keyhole of the doors and the car boot.
3. Turn open the little caps on the tyres, and press down on the pin you see underneath the cap. This will release all the air inside the tyres.
You probably need to get a tow-truck to come, unless you:
- Have a mini air-pump that can fill up your car tyres.
- Are able to push your car all the way to the nearest petrol station to use the air-pump.
4. Buy lotsa of cheap stickers from any bookstores. Note: We want CHEAP stickers, not those glossy expensive ones that will peel off easily (because they are high-quality stickers). We want cheap ones that leave a mess no matter how carefully you try to peel them off.
Stick them all over the windscreen of the car until the whole windscreen is covered with the cheap stickers. It'll be a hell of a time to try to unpeel all the stickers cleanly, and still be on time for your 9-to-5 job in the morning.
5. Buy from your nearest supermarket or grocery store, a bunch of over-ripe, yellow bananas. It should cost you around $2-3. Buy two bunches if you have a bit more change to spare.
Now unpeel the bananas one by one, and push them one by one up the rear exhaust of the car. Make sure to push all bananas into the exhaust until you are certain the whole exhaust (right up to the engine in front), is filled with bananas.
Any attempt to dig out the mashed-up bananas will result in MORE banana being pushed into the exhaust. You will probably need to tow your car to the workshop to replace the WHOLE EXHAUST PIPE.
Note: Potatoes would do the trick as well, but they are more costly than bananas. Plus you'll need to mash up the potatoes yourself first.
1. Buy a can of spray paint, and just spray both of the side-view mirrors sticking out from the car.
2. Get a small blob of plasticine, and push it inside the keyhole of the doors and the car boot.
3. Turn open the little caps on the tyres, and press down on the pin you see underneath the cap. This will release all the air inside the tyres.
You probably need to get a tow-truck to come, unless you:
- Have a mini air-pump that can fill up your car tyres.
- Are able to push your car all the way to the nearest petrol station to use the air-pump.
4. Buy lotsa of cheap stickers from any bookstores. Note: We want CHEAP stickers, not those glossy expensive ones that will peel off easily (because they are high-quality stickers). We want cheap ones that leave a mess no matter how carefully you try to peel them off.
Stick them all over the windscreen of the car until the whole windscreen is covered with the cheap stickers. It'll be a hell of a time to try to unpeel all the stickers cleanly, and still be on time for your 9-to-5 job in the morning.
5. Buy from your nearest supermarket or grocery store, a bunch of over-ripe, yellow bananas. It should cost you around $2-3. Buy two bunches if you have a bit more change to spare.
Now unpeel the bananas one by one, and push them one by one up the rear exhaust of the car. Make sure to push all bananas into the exhaust until you are certain the whole exhaust (right up to the engine in front), is filled with bananas.
Any attempt to dig out the mashed-up bananas will result in MORE banana being pushed into the exhaust. You will probably need to tow your car to the workshop to replace the WHOLE EXHAUST PIPE.
Note: Potatoes would do the trick as well, but they are more costly than bananas. Plus you'll need to mash up the potatoes yourself first.
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