Categories of... Bus Passengers

This was taken from some other place, so I decided to replicate this here in it's full content because the other site is no longer available:

1. The "Where shall I sit? Will it be here? Or maybe that seat over there? Or actually, wait... I think I better sit in that empty seat I just passed by..." Passenger

This category of passenger gets onto the bus, and shuffles their feet along the bus slowly, trying to find the most optimum seat for themselves as it they are making a marriage decision. The passengers behind are usually doing the coconut tree dance, trying to see why there is a delay in front.

Worst case is when these passengers make a U-turn to squeeze back past the crowd to get back at that empty seat they just walked past, causing the incoming flow of boarding passengers to be stopped temporarily.

2. The "I must wait until the bus stops completely and the bus captain opens the door before I can get up and start moving to the door" Passenger

This category of passenger causes massive delays at the bus stop they drop off at. The problem is made worse when there are more than one of these passengers alighting at the same bus stop. The passengers belonging to this category are almost always the ones who are seated.

While some may argue that "the bus is so full that I don't even have space to stand up" or "what if I fall down? the bus captain driving skills are so bad!", the truth is that they are just too darned lazy and comfortable in their seats to make the effort to move towards the exit beforehand.

If laziness is not the real reason, think about this: Why don't we see standing passengers moving towards the exit at the last minute? The fact that only seated passengers come under this category, already explains the reason why.

3. The "I must hide my ez-link card in some obscure position on me, then wait until last minute when I reach the exit, then I start patting my body and looking for my card in my bag" Passenger

This category of passenger also causes delays at bus-stops. The reason to why this is happening is also not known.

Sometimes these passengers also attempt to hide their cards in their big bags, and try to tap their cards in various positions at the card reader like a doctor using a stethoscope on a patient.

This type of passengers usually refuse to carry the cards in their hands, or put it in an easily-accessible pocket on their clothings or bags. They cause delays of at least 10 seconds guaranteed, regardless of any bus they take. This 10 seconds usually translates to a red light at the next junction, snowballing the waiting time for passengers at the next bus stop to a few minutes, which then snowballs again...

Combine with Category 2 passengers for maximum combo effect in delays to waiting time.

4. The "I must flag the bus at the last minute only when the bus is 20m away from the bus stop" or "I must press the bell at the last minute only when the bus is 20m away from the bus stop" Passenger

These passengers cause the bus captain to panic and swerve in and out of traffic dangerously.

Don't stop for the passenger? Get complained against by that single passenger for refusing to stop for passengers when the bus is not full yet.

Stop for the passenger? Get complained by the passengers on the bus for "dangerous driving".

The bus captain is at a losing end all the time.

The reasons why these passengers exist is really much unknown still, but it is obvious that they cause delays also.

5. The "I already flagged the bus from 50m away and the bus has already stopped for me, so I must catwalk slowly for the distance remaining to board the bus" Passenger

Again, this category of passenger causes delays also, sometimes as much as 30 seconds while everybody on the bus waits for that single person to walk slowly to board the bus.

These people assume that the bus captain stopping for them is a godsend; thus they must treasure the moment and feel like they are the king or queen for that 10 seconds of fame. Also, they feel that since the bus has already stopped for them, there is really no reason for them to jog or run up to the bus as quickly as possible.

And no, we are not talking about the elderly with weak legs or people using crutches.

6. The "My friend is sitting at the front of the bus so I must stand beside my friend and talk to my friend" Passenger

This category of passenger also causes massive delays, when other passengers board the bus, because the way to the big empty space at the rear of the bus is blocked by them.

This Category 6 passenger usually carries a big bag to make the problem worst. Other passengers have to slowly maneuver around the bag, adding to delays in waiting time due to the bottleneck created along the aisles of the bus.

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Do YOU belong to any of the above cateogry of passenger? If yes, please leave me a comment. Oh, and also, please don't start to flame me by saying "stop being such a king - so full of yourself".

My answer is this: I have never had the luck to become any of the above 6 categories of bus passenger ever before. If you sit down, take a deep breath and count to 10 (because you're feeling insulted as I have described YOU perfectly), and think again - it doesn't take much effort to not be categorized under any of the above 6 categories.

Categories of... EZ-Link Card Users

I have noticed that it is possible to categorise people according to their behaviour when using their EZ-Link cards on buses.

Type 1: The Normal Being
This is the normal Singaporean human being who uses the EZ-Link card as a normal human being would. This type of person would tap their cards, when getting off the bus. Sometimes they glance at the LCD displays when getting off, just to check how much value they have left.

Attitude: 7/10 (Pretty good I guess, since they do not obstruct other alighting passengers)
Cock-ups: 3/10 (You have to admit that there is a 30% chance that they behave like one of the other types below which I am going to mention)
Humour: 2/10 (Nothing to laugh about them, except when the 30% chance described above kicks in)

Type 2: The Blur One
This is the type of person who doesn't know that the no-entry sign on the LCD panel means that you cannot tap your card yet. This person will persistently tap his/her card on the machine while it is still displaying the no-entry sign, until somebody tells him/her that they cannot tap their cards yet, or they just give up due to exasperation.

Attitude: 4/10 (These people have probably been living in a bomb shelter since WWII)
Cock-ups: 7/10 (Quite a screw-up, to be ignorant of the no-entry sign and what it means. Luckily they do not bother alighting passengers when they alight)
Humour: 8/10 (A fun sight to laugh at, when you see them tapping their cards non-stop at the card reader)

Type 3: The Fly-Swatter
This type of person will stare intently at the card reader when alighting, holding their EZ-Link cards inches away from the card reader, waiting for it to unlock itself from the no-entry sign.

Once the card reader turns to EXIT status, they immediately smack their cards onto the card reader as if there was a fly on the card reader itself.

Attitude: 3/10 (You gotta admit that this group of people have an attitude problem to do that swatting.)
Cock-ups: 2/10 (Not much of a cock-up, they tap fast, and they get off fast. And they only smack when the card reader unlocks itself. No irritating "DI DI DI DI DI" sounds.)
Humour: 5/10 (Pretty much of a weird sight to see people behaving like this. Not so funny though)

Type 4: The Cool Cucumber
This type of person will never look at the LCD when they board/alight. They just tap, and go. Either they can't be bothered with the remaining value in their cards, or they are on concession passes.

Attitude: 9/10 (These cucumbers never cause any obstruction to alighting passengers, they get off quickly.)
Cock-ups: 6/10 (However, this group of people are prone to the "DI x 05" irritating beeping from the card reader, since they do not look when they tap.)
Humour: 1/10 (Nothing to laugh about them; they're cool)

Type 5: The Handbag Lady or The Muscle-Cramped Man
I think not much needs to be explained about the Handbag Lady; they just hide their cards inside their handbags, and lifts up the whole handbag to the card reader.

As for the MCM, they place their cards inside their chest pockets, and they bend down towards the card readers to tap their cards, refusing to take out their cards. Makes them look like their shoulders are having a cramp or something, or that they are sufferers of some kind of muscle disorder.

Attitude: 1/10 (They're lazy. What else can I say?)
Cock-ups: 9/10 (Most of the time they make the card readers beep non-stop, because their cards are in their handbags/pockets together with their metallic pens, keys, whatever.
Humour: 1/10 (Not funny at all when the whole bus-load of passengers is waiting for them.)

Type 6: The Blind One
These people should probably be carrying a walking stick or a walking aid, since they're probably blind or something. When boarding/alighting, they tend to stare at the FARE $0.38 ($0.25) (or just any other amount of fare), until the LCD changes back to ENTRY or EXIT. It is only when the card readers changes back to display the ENTRY or EXIT message do they then get off the bus.

Attitude: 1/10 (They probably don't know that they have a poor attitude, since they're blind.)
Cock-ups: 10/10 (Very. The bus is always delayed by this group of passengers.)
Humour: 1/10 (Not funny at all.)

PS: If I do leave out a certain type of people, please do leave a comment. Thanks.