How To Muck Up YOUR Car Without Even YOU Knowing It!

Disclaimer: This is in NO WAY related to the previous entry "Things That Piss Me Off At Night...".

1. Buy a can of spray paint, and just spray both of the side-view mirrors sticking out from the car.

2. Get a small blob of plasticine, and push it inside the keyhole of the doors and the car boot.

3. Turn open the little caps on the tyres, and press down on the pin you see underneath the cap. This will release all the air inside the tyres.

You probably need to get a tow-truck to come, unless you:
- Have a mini air-pump that can fill up your car tyres.
- Are able to push your car all the way to the nearest petrol station to use the air-pump.

4. Buy lotsa of cheap stickers from any bookstores. Note: We want CHEAP stickers, not those glossy expensive ones that will peel off easily (because they are high-quality stickers). We want cheap ones that leave a mess no matter how carefully you try to peel them off.

Stick them all over the windscreen of the car until the whole windscreen is covered with the cheap stickers. It'll be a hell of a time to try to unpeel all the stickers cleanly, and still be on time for your 9-to-5 job in the morning.

5. Buy from your nearest supermarket or grocery store, a bunch of over-ripe, yellow bananas. It should cost you around $2-3. Buy two bunches if you have a bit more change to spare.

Now unpeel the bananas one by one, and push them one by one up the rear exhaust of the car. Make sure to push all bananas into the exhaust until you are certain the whole exhaust (right up to the engine in front), is filled with bananas.

Any attempt to dig out the mashed-up bananas will result in MORE banana being pushed into the exhaust. You will probably need to tow your car to the workshop to replace the WHOLE EXHAUST PIPE.

Note: Potatoes would do the trick as well, but they are more costly than bananas. Plus you'll need to mash up the potatoes yourself first.