Monday, May 29, 2006

Indecent Exposure & Perverts...

I was heading towards a bus stop. Upon reaching the bus stop, I walked from one end to the other so as to check out the bus services available at the bus stop. There was this OL slouched over in the seat, waiting for her bus.

At one point (while passing by her), I saw that the woman's blouse was crumpled in such a manner that her assets were half-exposed. I arrived under the bus stop signpost, and checked the buses available. The OL at this point of time was behind me, back towards me.

Turning back around to look down the road at the buses, somebody was standing at the spot where I passed by the OL just a few seconds ago.

That "somebody", was a tanned man wearing a shirt and shorts. He looked to be in his forties. He had his eyes glued onto the OL's assets, only occasionally taking a very quick glance towards the road to check for his arriving bus.

I shook my head in dismay, just as my bus came.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Lucky Draws, Competitions, and Prize-Winners

Why is it that winners of competitions that have no-brainer factors involved (does not depend on luck, fitness, intellect, strength, agility, charisma, etc), are ALWAYS either of the below two categories:

a.) A fat slob who's ugly and looks lazy

Note: If you can't see the link above, here's a mirror of the image of the fat slob
OR

b.) A skinny pale fella who looks to be down with some terminal illness

Why???

Saturday, May 27, 2006

10 Worst Things You Could Ever Give A Girl

1. A bracelet that is too small for her

2. A single, one-way ticket to her favourite getaway location

3. Roll-on deodorant

4. A spanking new car

5. Gillette Venus

6. A dildo

7. A Box of Extrim tablets

8. The Book titled "Recovered, Not Cured: A Journey Through Schizophrenia"

9. Menopause for Dummies

10. Click Here

Real Life vs. Reel Life

Some of us may be the type who treats movies as a form of entertainment. Others might take it to be a form of visual and audio art. Yet some others treat it as a bore, and sleep throughout the movie.

Constant exposure to movies, where the actors have died long ago, may cause depression.

See their performance in the films; know that they have died long ago. How did you evaluate their performance? Were they good, or did their acting skills simply stink?

Now think about yourself: What will people think when you die? Will you be the Humble one? Or the Arrogant one? How about the Nonchalent one?

What we do in life, echoes in eternity.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Cars and Stripes...

Twice in two days, I have crossed a zebra crossing. Twice have I had one foot on the stripe on the road, when a car zoomed past in front of me, refusing to stop.

One was a 'L' plate young bloke, the other was a middle-aged woman.

The license plate number of one of the cars... is but a vague memory in my mind. I only remember xxx4869x.

I swear I will run up to the car when it stops at the dotted line to filter out to the main road (where most zebra crossings are situated), and punch a dent in the rear boot of the car. You can call me a coward, but I will then run away as fast as I can (where the driver can't catch me without getting off the vehicle).

My mind is set, and my fists are ready.

Kids Nowadays...

I saw a kid, holding a plastic shell with a toy inside (from those machines where you insert a dollar and turn the lever to roll out a ball).

He threw the shell onto the floor, and the shell split open and shattered on the ground like an egg dropped on the ground. He bent over and picked up the toy inside from the ground.

He then kicked the remains of the shattered shell onto the grass patch beside the sidewalk, and skipped away in glee, holding his new toy.

I think I have an idea how his parents look like.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Singapore Idol Fever...

Frankly, I don't give a flying shit about it coming this Sunday 21st May at 8pm sharp.

What I can tell you, is that the first 30 minutes for the show this Sunday, will be on the crowd that queued up at HDB Hub, and all the nonsense that occurred outside the room with the judges. Only after all these time-waster scenes are shown, will the actual auditions then be aired.

What I cannot tell you, is what the outcome of the 2nd Singapore Idol will be (after Taufik Batisah). Now, I'm not saying he's (Taufik) not good, but two points I have to make:

1.) It seems that he is actually the runner-up for the 1st Singapore Idol, since the media gave actual runner-up Sylvester Sim more attention than Taufik the champion.

2.) These two fellas are endorsing products like a-certain-brand-of-Thai-rice-which-I-forgot-the-name, the drink Sinalco (You: "WTF is that???!!!" Well, you probably have to be very all-knowing to remember this drink), 7-11, and scores of other unheard-of (or less well-known) brand names.

So what is to be the outcome of the 2nd Singapoke.. Oopps I mean, Singapore Idol? Endorsing even lesser-known brands like ermm... Eye Power Drink (眼神)? Yes there is such a brand of drink, I kid you not. How about the traditional Oleander Drink (?) (白花蛇草水) that comes in classic green bottles, lately with new peach/apple flavour?

There was a recent trailer about Singapore Idol, showcasing two obvious failures in the auditions: some rap-king who did his audition in chinese, and a Malay guy who came in a cowboy outfit, and got ridiculed by the judges as coming from Brokeback Mountain.

Sad to say, it seems that the preview trailers for this hyped-up show, has to begin on a low note by bashing the drop-outs from the auditions. Sorry, Mediacorp, you just bashed your own name. A world-class media does not dish out insults in this manner.

Hmm... wait. Did I say "world-class"? I guess I should take it back, as I'm mistaken.

You can rest assured that I don't give a flying shit about Singapore Idol.