Expiry Dates

A good friend is one where you are still in touch at the age of 70 (assuming both of you are still alive).

A bad friend has many definitions.

A bad friend is defined as one who defines you as having an expiry date.

Young Punk: Money No Enough

There was this young punk queuing up at the TransitLink Ticket Office.

Punk: "Can I take out the money from this (EZ-Link) card?"

Woman: "Yes sure... you mean refund it?"

Punk: "Yeah."

Woman: "OK."

*After a few moments*

Woman: "I give you all the money in the card, but I gotta take back the card, OK?"

Punk: "Uh, can I take out some money from the card only, and you give me back the card?"

Woman: "Sorry, no."

The punk then leaves the ticket office

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Moral #1 of the story: An EZ-Link card, is NOT an ATM card.

Moral #2 of the story: If you don't have the moolah to hit the streets, go back home and stay home. Don't clutter up the streets.

Can means can, cannot means cannot, don't talk so much cock

What the hell is "tu"? I only know that it means "taking your own time" in dialect.

What the hell is "re chi"? I only know it's 热吃. And what the FUCK is that? Makes no sense to me.

And what's with the stereotyping of Chinese old women? "Thus, Chinese grannies...": So you're making a statement? It's a known fact? It sounds like your grand "Theory of Chinese Grannies who prepare 'cooling' herbal concoctions".

If you are not good in your hanyu pinyin, just shut the fuck up. That goes the same for you, whoever reviewed this letter for publication.

First things you'll (probably) notice about the embassies in Singapore

The Chinese Embassy

Trees are grown all over the perimeter of the compound, such that you see nothing at all beyond the trees.

Even the gate facing the main road, is only as wide as a man's shoulder. The gate is brown (seemingly in a planked-up design). A guard stands in that open gate, filling in the gap, so that you still see nothing at all beyond him.

The British High Commission

It has barricades behind its main gates.

You can see through the metal gate, but the view is limited by the high walls surround the compound.

The Embassy of the United States of America

Well, the first thing you'll notice is the flag of America flying in a prominent position.

The nation's symbol (the Bald Eagle) is just behind the flag (if i remember correctly).

The Royal Thai Embassy

The fence surrouding the Royal Thai Embassy is black and low (a little bit taller than a man). Looking inside, you can see all the way inside, up to the main building of the embassy.

It is in clear view to all the passer-bys.